Dating in London

Dating in London.  A myth? A joke? Non-existent perhaps? Yes of course I'm exaggerating, it does happen and maybe this is only from personal experience but it's kind of a drag. I find that rather odd, living in this beautiful city amongst 8 million fellow human beings that I was unable to find at least ONE person that is on the same level as me.

I refuse to use tinder. I've tried the app before out of curiosity and could never get past the talking to the actual 'date' part. I don't want to meet someone on a dating app and I don't want to meet someone over the internet. I want a very specific human being that fits perfectly into my messy life at exactly the right time. This is not an easy achievement. Le sigh.

I think the whole dating in London thing is hard because firstly we're a big old ignorant bunch. If anyone tried to approach me on the street I'd avert eye contact at all costs. Sometimes I have my headphones in without any music playing just so I don't have to talk to people. (God I am terrible)

Secondly, the underground makes it hard for me to find love. Let me tell you now, if I've been shooting in Ealing Broadway all day and have spent a good 2 hours of my day on public transport, the last thing I want to do is meet you across London in Camden only to have to catch the last 40 minute tube home back to south east. WHAT I WANT IS TO SLOB IN BED WATCHING CLUELESS DO NOT JUDGE ME.

I spent the majority of last year trying to forget about a guy I had been seeing at the beginning of the year. It was one of those 'lead you on' types, and instead of having the bottle to call him out on his BS, I just slowly managed to fade him out of my life. Which is fine on the outside look of things, but now looking back I wish I'd just told him he was a prick and saved myself the silent heartache. But again this person doesn't count - he didn't even live in London.

I have a great habit of getting involved with people that live absolutely no where near me. I mean, I almost bought flights to Canada last November on a whim. I think I like the hopeless romantic long distance feeling of missing someone. I'm in love with the idea of falling in love on an adventure I guess. But just with the idea of it. The reality of it is, I'm too fussy, too busy, too independent. It's not that I don't want to be with someone, it's just that it has to be exactly the right person, someone that makes me feel like a relationship is a bonus and not a hold back. Someone that wants to travel but with their career and somehow that all being able to happen together.

How is any of that possible? Timing has so much to do with it all. I do not fall very easily at all but the very few times that I have since living in London, it's fallen through because it wasn't what the other person wanted. I think mostly that's because they were a little bit douchebaggy though. (yes - douchebaggy).

It's not that I don't get attention from people, I've casually dated and enjoyed the social aspect of it. That's great, it's all fun you know. But I look at my friends in relationships and think 'wait, how'd you get that?' I don't think it's anything that I am doing wrong, nor that it's a bad thing that I am single, in fact I think it's my own doing that I haven't pursued a relationship. I put things in place unconsciously that make it difficult to pursue one i.e living in New York this summer. When I think about that, I'm like - I definitely am 100 percent doing my own thing and taking every opportunity to live my life as fully as possible. I guess it would just be cool to have someone that was as weird and happy and caring on the same level.

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